Mama Bear

How I Learned To Become a Mother

          What does being a mother mean? Well, I’m sure to a lot of people the word mother can mean a few different things. Unfortunately to some it is just a word, most every woman has the ability to bear a child but that doesn’t mean they have the natural skills or desire to be a mom. To me, when I think of my mom I think of the most loving person I have ever known. Her love is so unconditional and she has always made sure to be there for every one of her children or family members through thick and thin as long as I can remember. She always made a point to acknowledge us and make us feel like our birthdays were special or on Christmas no one was any more favored than the other. I aspire to love and nurture my son Kaeden as well as she had my three brothers and me. To me, a mom is someone who will always be there for you, help guide you through life and help you grow.

                In my own experience I am still learning to become the best mother I can be nearly every day. There are so many aspects to being a mom, and a great one at that. Patience is a big aspect when it comes to parenting. Some days you just want to pull your hair out with the crazy fits or constantly getting into the things they’re not supposed to. But to be honest it makes it all a little more interesting, gives it a little more depth. There are days where it appears that nothing is even possible to make them happy and days where there is constantly poopy diapers or even while they are younger there is spit up all over and in places you didn’t even know. Once they become mobile things are all over the place and the house is more to maintain, and some days it can get frustrating. Patience is definitely something you need to learn while being a mother if you weren’t a very patient person to begin with. When you read this, it doesn’t really sound like a lot of fun but it is oddly wonderful. It’s amazing how you can experience so many things you never would want to deal with but you do because for some reason your child is now the most important thing in the world.

                Another part of being an amazing mother is the unconditional love. Like I have stated above there are so many experiences that sometimes can get overwhelming but there are also so many that make your heart melt. I’d say that we are very lucky parents who have a wonderful son who is full of personality and little quirks, he definitely has his bad days like any one year old, or human being for that matter, but typically he is a happy, fun, loving, independent and calm baby. Sometimes I felt as if I missed out in the beginning of his life. I personally had to get induced 11 days early because I had come down with a bad case of preeclampsia. As stated on Wikipedia “Pre-eclampsia or preeclampsia is a medical condition characterized by high blood pressure and significant amounts of protein in the urine in a pregnant woman.” I had been induced because my blood pressure was just refusing to decrease and it was important to get our baby out before it caused anymore danger to him or me. I had been on an iv rack full of things flowing into my blood and I was constantly out of it for a full 4 days. The day Kaeden was born is unforgettable but I feel like I missed out on that magical feeling some people describe because of my medications. The first two weeks were awfully hard to care for him or myself being so out of it with lack of sleep and food but we made it through both as healthy as can be. Honestly, when it comes down to it, I’m starting to realize I didn’t miss out on anything. With this past year I have realized I could never love anyone as much or in the way that I love him. With or without that first moment I still feel crazy amounts of happiness when I see him.

                Now I have the natural feeling to protect my little one. Sometimes it can feel so silly to be so protective and say no about so many things, but a baby doesn’t really know any better. While writing this paper I had been in the library sitting by the fire and I over hear a mother walking by with her two young children. The kids were so enthused by something so simple and this mother showed perfect example of protecting her children. She let them get near it to watch it yet she so simply told them to stand back because it was very hot. The little girl continued to get closer and try to touch it like just about any young toddler would and so the mom had to step in a pull her back. The girl had begun to cry and it’s always a little hard to hear that but it was for the best. With a child you are always on alert to make sure nothing will go wrong, but still encouraging them to learn new things. I decided to share this story because it took place into mine. I as well as probably every mother would have taken the same steps this one did.

                From the very beginning of becoming a mother you have to learn self-sacrifice. You need to learn how and when to give up your personal life. While being pregnant my first sacrifice was all the food in my stomach, dear god I was sick for the first three months straight. Then I had to give up caffeine, which was probably just best for me anyways. After Kaeden was born I then had to give up sleep, oh boy was this one hard for me, sleep was one of my favorite things and I got pretty close to none of it. I also had to give up hanging out or even partying with friends, which I guess wasn’t entirely hard because I was already a homebody. As he got older and was awake for longer periods of time it took from any personal time we had and as he became mobile we had to become more alert. As time goes on we are starting to sacrifice our ears for he has all his talking and musical toys going off constantly. All of this is worth the sacrifice to help our little one grow and learn and I’m sure most moms would agree.

                Every day is a new challenge, yet another opportunity to help Kaeden learn new things. It is all so exciting, every first thing he has ever done has brought so much joy it’s almost like he became my very own talking (or babbling) toy. I don’t think I can ever forget the first time he reached for something, rolled from front to back, said dada, crawled, walked, said mama, and now kitty. It’s incredible to watch and be a part of a human being becoming more of a person. This journey will be a constant one and I could never be more excited.